i know that the separation between me and the girls has made a dent in the silent, unspoken pact of the girls. i was lucky to experience such a great fresh friendship in middle school and the beginning of high school. i thought people understood my high strung, defenseful attitude.

i hate the world and the world hates me back and i laugh because i love life and think the government is pretty funny and i'm getting sucked into the hole just like everybody else. i dont think a lot of people see that and if i point it out i think they get mad because they realize themselves that its true . whats it all about? i dont pay for bills and shit yet so its easier for me to say HAH to everyone and everything.

and i guess people think thats disrespectful if you still have got your heads dug in the dirt staring at your graves. i have to respect that because thats part of life. everything is changing still. you'll see . nobody is going to be happy with their job or their love or their life or their children or their school or their money or their house or their car or their dog or their furniture or their computers. we're all going to be fucking selfish bastards who cant get enough of what we're taking advantage of. can't you see we're all KILLING ourselves? using and abusing things is KILLING america, killing the world. and we still use cars that burn gas and waste the air. we still overprice and over use oil. all because we want to gas up the cars that destroy the air we breath. we all spend money. and what is money? it used to be backed up on silver and gold. what is silver and gold? why is that WORTH something? a promise sealed with a kiss isnt enough for a marriage. it has to be a wedding with diamonds and flowers and gold and champagne.

and i think its a fucking waste