and something a bit poetic would be so perfect. perhaps it would make up for my inperfections haha.

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there are things i like to do for certain people. i know that being 16 years old makes it harder for me. not having a car makes it harder. fucking it up with claire makes it harder. fucking it up a week later with naz makes it harder. living with my parents makes it harder.

nearly impossible.

but i will do it. i'm going to love her forever. and whether or not i tell my parents until i move out of this house... i dont know.

i know i will end up paying for all of college. they wish they could be like dick and nan and pay for my college, and cars, and horses, and apartments or whatever. and i know mom wants to be like nancy when she says "dorms are part of the college experience" but who the fuck cares if i live with someone else if you're not paying for it?

yeah. RISD would be a dream. come true and all that. uconn would be a pain; but so close and promising. something like marlboro would be hell. too much pain; so much gain and little time to feel your mind. new york city would be a bother. but my music teacher expects me to aquire this taste in ethic beats and musical strife.

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anyway. my fresh linens. washed by the sea. my salty lips and her soapy smile. it makes me smile

i cried on the way home. talking about it in the office for so long and working it all up with my dad. and my dad talking like its everything... talking and making sense. just finishing his thoughts completes my sense of direction for a while. mom can't even do that.

love to my linen,

rosie