navy, i said
yea. the navy. and she wanted to know is he home? and i said yea, here's his email because i think it'd be cool if josh got email from someone who he knew. and i think wow its so easy for them to come up to friends of sisters and brothers. why cant i? i cant call the friends of josh's that i want to. i miss eric and i miss shawn and i miss missy and i miss the other guys too. okay, i just miss eric fine. but his navy friends are cute too and i hope they all move to east lyme connecticut and i can marry one of them. donny joey or eric
and wow my friends are so ahead of me with love. christine and i fought that friday i told her about kenny but i knew it was going to be okay so i kept fighting even though i usually am the one who never knows what i'm talking about. but i know now she was caught up in the moment but she said if i knew what it was like to be in love than... whatever i forget and i thought wow maybe i've never been in love and i havn't and i dont know much. and i just wish i were and i did. i've been pretty careless about how i look to other people but i like people and how they are and i'm happy with that and i wish sometimes my physical attraction and the emotional attraction matched the same people because they never do. they still arn't. and then there is the attachment that isnt even possible like they're too old.
like this chef/cook guy that works with me and he's so nice and he says my name instead of ringing the bell and i like that. and then i joke with him and pretend yell at him for not telling me where the calamari goes. and then the other guys on the other side laugh at me because they know im just a stupid ugly high schooler with braces but there was that fake wink where i looked too hard and he looked to hard and then i laughed and left the kitchen because it got too much for a guy over 30 probably with a family for an ugly 16 yr old high schooler with braces. but i feel pretty when he smiles and says my name and then i laugh at myself like your crazy that you like these old guys. and i like chet the pasta guy too because he tells good jokes and he lived in the midwest and he likes christian rock music and he wants to play in the band for his church. i like working there all day because i get o know these people when its not busy. and it wasnt and i worked in the kitchen for nine hours and it was just me and vinny in the kitchen and i smiled all day.
goodnite. psats in the morning