I couldn't imagine my life without these girls. There is nothing typical about them. Everything is open and honest; and I think the accusation was open and honest. I was suprised that it rolled off her chest like it did. Not only that, but that no one disagreed. Even if what she said was just out of the blue, and not thought about... it still hurt. I know it's going to be there for a long time.

Everything sunk. I felt like I was running out of air when no one would tell me what I did. Or would give me an example of what they were talking about; I was so confused! I couldn't leave, because then I would just be letting the accusation win! Not that it has to lose, but a false one should atleast be understood. No one explained, everyone was "evil eyebrows" mode and I just wanted to get out of the hell.

I ran to the auditorium. I thought there was a rehearsal. I don't think there was... but I ate lunch and left. I almost cried, and I knew I had to leave. I called my mother and she talked to me for 20 minutes. She told me exactly how to handle the situation, although it turned out to be slightly different.

I went downstairs and talked to Christine. Mom told me to, since Christine and I can listen to each other and usually work out anything. I'm glad I did.

I was settled a little bit since I knew I could work it out. We're all capable of getting things off our chest. But when I went to talk to Hillary about it, and I hugged her to say everything was okay; it wasnt. I realized that this was a big (but stupid and quite elementary) problem. My heart fell down to my feet and I tried to forget about it; maybe things would be okay.

The reason I say I'm glad I talked to Christine about it, is that if it weren't for her, I know I'd still be unsettled about it. I won't get into details here. But thank you.

And I'm sorry about who I am. But, don't think I'm apologizing for too much; I'm sorry that I can be offensive without realizing it. I am sorry that I can't push myself to get into these little love triangles and make a bigger mess. I'm sorry I mind my own business, unless someone asks me for an opinion. I'm sorry I keep my mouth shut. I'm sorry, most of all, for keeping my life seperate from yours. Because I am human. It's the gene pool; I'm sorry.

I'm not being catty. I'm being real.