1:04 p.m. - 11.23.03 - half the prep. little stress
I've not been feeling like everything is okay. I talked and talked to Josh for so long last night until the battery was dead and I told him i was so sorry and I could see miles of talking if it hadn't been for the phone. I talked about Noah and how he said Hello.... and Josh said he was an ass because he had to be, which I agree with because thats what Noah said too. Peer pressure; It never was a part of me! I think it was a joke though, so he tally marked all my friends and said I was (mathematically proven, that is) 19% popular. Of course, this is Josh speaking so who knows. We talked about drugs and sex and college and futures and he told me I had to kapeesh to bring protection where ever I went. I'm thinking; what, me? But it made sense once he explained it... and then he said "yeah and then everyone is going to think your hot shit cuz you got a condom in your purse" we laughed then he said "in that case... forget everything I said." ............... Now when it comes to Wally, I think I became friends with him for the wrong reason or something... because it's not working and it scares me more than anything. His mind is set on Impress and nothing else and he doesn't see that impressing isn't everything. I don't know why, but I think Josh's advice is the best, even though he's never met Wally himself, and perhaps if he knew him like I did than he wouldn't say everything he did. I don't know if he was on Meth that night, and I'm having a hard time believing anything he says and I always am. If he can't bring himself to tell me the truth NOW what do I expect in x amount of years? Know what I'm saying? So... anyway. When I was in... I don't know, 6th grade probably, Josh left his lunch in the car, or maybe his jacket or something when Mom and I dropped him off at school. I ran in the school after him and into the lunch room, I guess because everyone was huddled in there before class started. Josh told me that just because of that 10 seconds I was in school, everyone would ask him atleast once a week how his sister was doing and people from his work said that too and he was really annoyed by it I guess and told me all his friends were after me which is hard for me to believe, although, i AM pretty good looking (hahaha!!!! just kidding). But I was only 12 and I can't really believe that people would think that much. Whatever. And I'm not really sure about college, I just know I have to go. I can't get pregnant before I graduate college and get married. 27 is still my set age for getting married and having kids. I mean, its the minimal age.
So i'm still unsure about all this. whatever is goin on is so great and I know it's supposed to be like this but what the fuck is happening? I have to shower and... all that shit. read a book and. do everything
i'm going to change my layout I just have to find one that isn't bad looking
before or after
