8:00 a.m. - 11.06.03 - -
no one has been angry yet about their memories and i know that i'm happy with them. i look in the courtyard... and i still remember, maybe it was close to the last day of school and mary and i stood and sat on the picnic tables outside and it was weird because we were so relaxed. and my freshman year was a dream. we blew the flowers that make your wishes come true.... i never saw claire's locker but i saw carolyn's and i remember walking to it a lot during the study hall we shared. i started cutting one day and never wanted to stop it was so nice and no one questioned me but the girls who i shared study hall with. that was the evil of my freshman year. when the friendships of my girls started to dwindle and threaten the love i shared with them. i would have senior dismissal with the rest of them but not ask permission. just sign in and leave. thats when, i think, they started making kids sign in when they were done with study hall.
i can see the boys that will be farmers and this one boy dances like he will on the field? maybe one day. and i will never forget what happend with erick. erik eric. i still can't spell his name right, i know. and that gives me a stomach ache. i wish i knew. if its any consolation, i love that boy so much.
i can't beat this bush! i'm a silly mistake that doesn't need to get an a on the algebra test i refuse to study for. because i still don't know how to do this shit and i'm going to drop down to b level. i've never been in a b level class and i wonder what's the difference but i need to know. okay i guess i'm not trying. i gave up trying to do my work. i stretch myself so thin trying to work and i just don't want to anymore. i'm lazy and i can't even throw the can in the bucket.
alright, im going home
before or after
